Shannon

yes

2007-05-27T03:25:54Z

I feel fat and I'm fixin to get fatter.
I'm scared.
I miss my puppies and I want them back. Right now.
I've made 50 million catrillion mistakes.
I wanna move back to cordova.
At least I like my new furniture even though its too big for our living room.
I really really really miss my puppies. Its weird coming home and not hearing them bark when I walk through the front door.
I think I miss stinkerton more than butters, thats bad.
I still hate at lot of things. I'm such a hater.
Bleh.
I can be the happiest I've ever been one day and then the saddest I've ever been the next.
Life is fuckin pointless. No, my bad. It has a point.. to end. It makes no sense.
Fuckin everyone is having a baby and everyone is going to bed earlier.
I don't really have a choice anymore, I can't ever fall asleep early whether I want to or not.
I swear to god the way the episodes come on for The Riches makes no fuckin sense. I watch it one week and then the next week its like they have 2 new episodes and only tell you about one of them. And then its like one of the new episodes is just like the one from last week only with a new part.. the part they told you would be a new episode the next week. And then the next day its a whole new one. Maybe I'm just crazy.

He wouldn't let me

2006-12-15T02:17:42Z

I hope this one doesn't end soon.

Jennifer and I had an adventure leaving work last night.. we journeyed through the hidden halls of the mall. We took some pictures on her camera and shes a poop face and never uploads them.

I was drinking some pepsi and you can see it on my tongue haha

Bleh

2006-12-07T20:11:02Z

Today was supposed to be an ok day but now its not.

Hang out with Kat and Jen because Kat's having the baby tomorrow... then hang out with kerry.

Jennifer has to work 12-3 and possibly some more at another job after that and then Kerry had to make me all sad and now I don't even think I should hang out with him. He wouldn't even care if he never talked to me again. The only reason he talks to me now is cuz I get upset and crap when he doesn't.

And then, I had to start thinking about how alone I am. No one really cares about me, not as a friend or anything more. Jennifer is just killing time until Trey gets back from Iraq and then they are leaving again, and Kerry doesn't even want me anymore.

I was going to go to Jerry's since Kat and Jen can't do anything, but now I don't feel like going anywhere. I just wanna sit here and cry all day and wish I had friends, too bad that won't make friends magically appear.

I should go run or something because my stupid weird lookin body depresses me, but I'm too lazy. I can't even find any pants that fit me right.

Bleh blah bleh bleh gah gah gah gah. I wonder how long its going to take for me to be ok or not sad anymore.

and today..

2006-11-21T03:05:18Z

We made these plans last night to wake up early this morning and go do stuff, only I don't even remember what we were supposed to do but I guess we did them. First, I picked up Katherine and went a couple places and then to Jennifer..or Trey's house..and I ended up trying on some of Jennifer's clothes.

I will probably come back and put more pictures up here from Jennifer's camera when she uploads them.

Then we all got in her truck like usual and .. went places. I don't remember why but we all decided we were going to drive to Alabama, so we tried. We didn't get but half way there to corinth before Jennifer decided it was a bad idea cuz Trey wouldn't like hearing about her traveling somewhere to where an ex lives, but that's not why we were going to go there anyway. Anyways, lots of funny stuff happened like usual and we took pictures and videos haha and I'll put more up.. well ya I already said that.. when Jennifer uploads hers.

This is the beginning of the trip.. Wal-Mart.

Somehow I managed to get a picture of this guy walking down Hwy 72 while we were going 70 or something.

Jennifer and her tongue haha.

Katherine's milkshake didn't want to stay in the cup so it ran up the straw and tried to escape.

The Highway...yeah I don't know.

This is what America is all about, riding your tracter to get groceries and hoping to get home before it gets dark with no worries in the world. -Kevin

Some old shack lookin thing.

Some day I will photoshop someone onto this picture ha.

Walnut is a pretty funny name for a town, so we stopped to take pictures...

...of cows...

...Jennifer's pig tails floppin around...

...blurry pictures of us being dumb...

Come grow with us!

I just thought this looked cool so we stopped.

Blurry spider pumpkin of hay.

We liked it.

This is just funny lookin.

The Sugar Farm

I had an idea.

Wal-Mart bathroom pic.. I mean McDonalds.

The end.. for now.

idk

2006-11-18T17:37:25Z

I don't want to go to work. Aeropostale 12 to 5 and Abercrombie 6 to 10. Fuck working all day and fuck working at a place where I have to climb a tall ass ladder that wobbles. I'm definitely going to quit Abercrombie today.. too bad I didn't get to buy the coat I want with my discount.

GFD in your face

2006-11-18T17:23:21Z

Everything makes me wanna cry. I hate that everyone else has fun and I can't. Why can't I have fun? Gah Tina you fat lard. I want so many things and I'll never get any of them, and I'll somehow make sure of it.

God Fuckin Damnit is my favorite phrase.

Lame ooooooooo

I had this crazy dream a couple of couple nights ago. So many random things happened, like I almost slammed into the back of a cop car, my boobs grew, and actually now I don't even remember the other things. But anyways, when I woke up, and this sounds so gay, but I felt a couple of emotions at once. I was scared and happy and mad and I don't know what else, it was really weird. I woke up thinking for a second that all of those things had actually happened and there were going to be repercussions. But then I realized, duh, it was a dream. I had the feeling for half of the day though, I knew none of it was real but I felt like I was going to deal with things I did in the dream. I've woken up before thinking my dreams had really happened, like a couple times I dreamed I had a zit in the middle of my forehead, or that I flunked a big test. Shit like that, shit that normally happens. Those dreams however consisted of one thing, and this new one consisted of many things. What am I supposed to do when these things happen? Stare in the mirror and think about it all? No, because by the time I get to the mirror I'm already thinking about something else. Go to work and think about it all? There we go! There I have time on the way to work and inbetween calls and even during most calls to think about it and try to remember. So I went to work and thought about my dream and ended up pulling out the gameboy and playing advance wars. The dream eventually bored me, that's what I get for thinking.

Then a little while after that I got bored with the game.

And lately I've been thinking and remembering all the little things that used to scare me that I thought had to do with hypochondria, all the things that interfered with daily tasks. I had a shit load of those.

B2

2006-07-25T05:45:13Z

Been so damn upset lately, can you guess why? Durrr its from the same person its usually from. I would write for hours about it but I'm trying to make it go away.

I haven't talked to Kat in a good couple of days. I sent her texts and she hasn't responded to any of them. Maybe her phone is cut off or something or we're just having problems sending and receiving.

There's so much stuff I wanna do... with Kerry... as a couple... but he doesn't seem to want to do anything like that with me. He said the other day he said he wanted to rest and then later there was a party and he said he might go. Sadness of course because I wanted to do something earlier and he shot it all down. There's so much confusion there anyways.

Got a couple classes, applied for a couple loans, now I need to actually get a loan. I might not be starting school if I can't get one of those shits.

Life is going to be so damn boring when and if I start school, especially if Kerry wants to just sit at home every weekend cuz of his busy week.

We had a meeting today with some supervisor and someone asked, "If we're on corrective action we can't fill out a preference bid right?" A preference bid is to change your schedule. She said, "Right. And I told them the reason some people are on corrective action is because of their schedule. So you can." Now what the hell? She agreed that we couldn't, then she said we could. If we can I really wanna change my schedule to have saturday and sunday off with an 8 hour schedule. My 10 hour schedule is cool because I have 3 days off, but I'm damn tired of being there 10 hours in one day. Plus if I get an 8 hour schedule it'll be better with school. Hopefully I will freakin get a schedule I request! I hope it won't take a couple of months for a schedule to open up.

I need to take a shower and go to bed. I'm worried about what I'm gonna have for breakfast tomorrow. I ate all the cereal and there's nothing that takes seconds to make anymore which is what I need. Well I could make toast..but I wont. The other bad thing about a 10 hour schedule is if I don't eat breakfast I'm fucked till lunch which isn't for another 5 and a half hours after I get there, I can't last that long without food!

I hate being little. A couple of days ago when I was at my parents house mom showed me some pictures of me when I was little. I've seen pictures of me before, but not pictures of me with my friends, I was so much smaller than everyone! Even when I was like 8! I can just imagine how people see me now, 14 year old lookin ass. I would rather be little than large though.

I think I typed my email wrong when I filled out this last loan application.. It said I would get an email in minutes and its been about 10 and I've gotten nothing. Maybe that's because its past midnight.. I'll wait and see tomorrow.

I think I'm gonna go now and mess with how my page looks.

A1

2006-07-18T05:58:06Z

Live Journal..coolness.

I'm not a very good writer.

What should I write about? There was something I was thinking about on my way home from dropping Kat off, but of course I forgot what it was. Hm...

I hate how I'm not motivated to do anything. I wanna run, but I don't want to do it alone and I have no one to make me go when I'm lazy. I wanna be able to stay at work the full 10 hours I'm supposed to but I just start thinking about how much I wanna go home. Actually, I don't even know why I always wanna go home. What is there to do at home? Especially now since Kerry is back in school, there's not shit to do if I get home early but watch tv because he's gonna be sleeping. I don't really wanna be anywhere else if he's gonna be at home even if it is sleeping. I need to get money to fix up the car like I want, but why do I even wanna do that? What the heck am I gonna get out of fixing it up? Nothing really, it'll look the way I want it to look and be a little fast, and I'll have to ask Kerry to find the motor stuff for me because I'm not motivated to figure that stuff out anymore either. I used to be! Then I don't know what the hell happened. The only thing I'm actually motivated to do now is get into Real Estate and buy and sell shit. Its kind of scary though because I might not even make money. As much as I wanna do that for a living, I hope I get interested in something better.

Today, I went to work my full 10 hours and even 1 more hour. The only reason I was able to make it the last 4 hours was because I IP-RELAYED kids that were making prank calls. We can get fired for that but oh well, it kept me interested and not thinking about wanting to go home. These one kids got really scared, or so it seemed. Some operators suck really bad and don't tell how exactly the people react during or after the typer is typing. These one kids though, they we're all freakin out and actually thought I was the police. They ended up hanging up soon though. Then these other kids thought it was funny, and I told them I was their mother, and to get in my belly. I got that from Austin Powers haha. Also, this was one of the few times I changed my voice while voicing what they typed. I did this one call in some gay country accent for one line and then my normal voice for another line. They got a big kick out of it and so did I, but then they always have to take it too far so I had to disconnect it. I was very sad they forced me to disconnect it because I was having fun and at that point I think I still had just a couple hours left.

Before that I was playing the sidekick version of minesweeper. When I downloaded it I thought it was going to be as easy as it is on the computer, but it sure wasn't. It started to get hard and I actually had to start thinking for more than a second about which box to flag. Its not that I don't want to think or that I can't figure it out, but if I have to do something too many times and its not easy I get tired of it. Not all the time though, sometimes I like challenges, but I guess today was not one of those days.

After work Kat and I went to Chili's and BlockBuster. We called some waitress there a fat whore (not to her face) and then she looked at us and waved, it was hilarious. What else happened there.. um.. We had to wait 10 mins for our drinks. We told one of the waiters that Kat knew about it and right as he was bringing out our drinks the guy that was supposed to be our waiter jumped out with the drinks. It was a little funny to me because of the expression on the other dudes face. We had some gay laughs, that's about it for Chili's. When we we're on the way to BlockBuster there were some rednecks in a truck and Kat flipped them off and said something about them being rednecks. They tried to drive all next to us and I freaked out and made sure some old lady in some SUV was next to us the whole way so they couldn't even look at us. I think they lady figured it out or something because she started to laugh. They went away after a couple mins and then we just made more jokes till we got to blockbuster. And that was it.

I got home and Butters was all freakin out like normal, and then I went into the bedroom and lied on the bed to play with him and I noticed.. omg.. I noticed that he had a little puppy hard on! I couldn't believe it! It was all gross and red and protruding out of his little puppiness.. it made me want to throw up. Its freakin scary to see that sort of thing, its just as scary to me when he humps stuff and I can't even explain why. I guess its kind of like he's my baby and then.. yeah.. I don't know, never mind, its just scary.

Well its almost 1 o'clock and I should probably go to bed. Hooray for my first entry of nothingness.